NWA Natural's Wings for Our Troops Fundraiser 2017

Arvest Ballpark and the NWA Natural's community partnership team invited us to have a fundraiser Saturday, July 29th.  Whatever tickets we sold we got to keep 50% and the allowed us to have a table set up to share information about what we do and about our 4th Annual Squirrel Hunt coming up in January 2018. 
The weather couldn't have been better and the staff at the Arvest Ballpark were amazing.  Everything was organized and ran like clock work. 
Tebo was asked to throw out the first pitch (see picture below) and Tia was asked to do a radio interview.  It was a really cool experience.


We had a good turnout of friends and board members and other co-workers that were supporting not only WFOT, but our local Double A team.  The staff upgraded our seats to 3rd base side so we weren't in the sun and it was a perfect location.


I want to give a special thanks to Mark Zaiger, Sales Director, for all he did to make this event successful.  We raised just under $3,000.00 between ticket sales and straight donations.  That will buy several tickets for our service members.


We had a chance to honor a few Veterans as well as a Marine currently serving.  It was quite the treat that our currently serving Marine was home on leave from deployment that weekend and wanted to participate in this fundraiser so we were more than honored to have him join us on the field. (see picture below)


Thank you to everyone that supported us and came out to be a part of this fundraiser.  Hopefully this will turn into an annual event, but if it doesn't, it was a great time had this year.

Tebo throwing out the first pitch

Veterans, Active Service Member, & Softball team members on the WFOT softball team



What It's All About... A Special Thank You Letter

Wings for Our Troops "in loving memory of CPL Chad S Wade" does not do what we do for accolades or showmanship, we do it to give back and say thank you to our service men and women while trying our best to honor our son that gave all. 


I'm not going to do the writing/speaking this time, I'm going to allow the Fulford family do the talking.  Thank you Nicole and Austin not only for your service and sacrifice each day for us, but for the kind words you spoke about Wings for Our Troops and for allowing us to share your story and pictures.  We truly appreciate you giving us this opportunity to assist your family.  It was our honor to do so.


Please take the time to read this thank you letter and if you know someone in active service that needs our assistance in getting home, please let them know about Wings for Our Troops "in loving memory of CPL Chad S Wade".

Thank You Letter From The Fulford Family

This letter has been almost a month in the making.

This organization, Wings for our Troops, is one that we will never forget. I don't know  how to thank you all for what you do, but I hope this letter finds every person involved in the organization, so they can know what kind of gratitude we have for what you do. This is our story and what you have helped bring to my family.


My husband Austin, has had a whirl wind spinning around him for the last 6 months, he really hasn't caught much of a break in terms of stress. Between moving with a wife who was 7 months pregnant, having his grandfather almost pass away just one month before our recent crises (the same week as the birth of our son), then the news that his father had been hospitalized...his prognosis was grim, the doctors didn't know if he would even make it through the night. 

I began to look for airline tickets, we had gone through the same process a month before this with his grandfather, as airlines tend to do the ticket prices had gone up exponentially.  Luckily his grandfather had shown signs of improvement, so we did not follow through with sending my husband home at that time. Knowing that his fathers condition was so severe the doctors couldn't even guarantee him making it another day, there was no hesitation to start the process of getting him to Georgia. Trying to purchase tickets to fly across the country, two days before you intend to fly, is the most financially terrifying experience.  I called my mother, who in the past has saved me quiet a bit of money when I would fly home to visit during my younger service years, and she didn't hesitate to start seeing what kind of discounts she could find. My husband and I had decided I would not make the trip with him because it would be impossible for us to afford it. That's when I got the call from my mother saying she had gotten in touch with an amazing woman within your group. Tami you are wonderful, it was such a pleasure to speak with you, I could tell this is a cause that you are passionate about, I hope you know you have touched our lives forever. 

Tami gave me all the information on what WFOT needed to submit our situation to your board, she was very diligent and it took no time to get an answer on whether or not WFOT would be able to help us. When she called to tell me we BOTH had tickets and would be flying the next morning so my husband could be with his father...I could not believe it. To top it off, I would be able to bring my 7 week old son with me, in hopes of his grandfather getting to meet him at least once. 

Thanks to WFOT my husband did get to see his father again. The reunion was overwhelming, even thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes. His father, lying on the hospital bed, with dozens of wires and tubes connecting to various machines and monitors crying out to his son as he walked into the room. Austin, in full paper protective gowns and bright blue rubber gloves, trying to console his now sobbing father who despite his condition and all the wires and tubes is now desperately trying to get out of the hospital bed to hug his son who he hasn't seen in almost three years.  My husband held his hand and put another on his shoulder, telling him it was alright and he was there, to not get out of the bed and everything was alright.  

Austin's father Tommy's condition started to improve dramatically, he had to stay in the quarantine area the entire time during Austin's visit, but each day he either maintained health or improved slightly. We are so please to bring the news that he is still improving slowly, and the doctors are optimistic that his health should keep improving. It will be a long road to full recovery, but with hard work and diligent care, it is possible he will make a full recovery. My son Henry and I were unable to visit with Tommy, due to the seriousness of the infection he had contracted. The doctors almost didn't let my husband in for fear he would bring it home to the baby, however with the proper personal protection precautions it was possible. Henry and I were able to visit with Henry's great grandfather and great grandmother while my husband spent his days at the hospital with his father.  Henry's great grandfather is 89 and just recently went through some very difficult health problems himself, we are so thankful to get the opportunity for Henry to meet him. His great grandmother is 91 years old and does an amazing job  caring for her husband.

I hope after reading this letter you were able to feel all the gratitude our family has for what you do. Thank you so much again, you've touched our lives and there are not enough ways to express how much we appreciate it. I am including a few photos of us from the trip, the video is of my husband and his father being reunited...we chose to share this very personal video with you because without you this would not have been possible. 

Most sincerely,

The Fulford Family

Another one comes home

We were honored to bring another soldier home this week for pre-deployment leave. 

To say he had a easy breezy flight home would not be a true statement.  Without going into details, he and a buddy found themselves in a stressful situation that nearly caused this trip home not to happen, but in true military form and the relentless determination of a mom these young men made it home. (Plus a little paying it forward by the Pianalto family themselves) 

This one was a little bonus trip as this soldier returned home to Northwest Arkansas.  I have to say, that was pretty cool. I just wish I could have made it to the airport to help welcome him home myself. 

The pictures below show exactly what this is all about. Seeing these families reunited even if only for a short visit. 

Our thoughts and prayers will be with Infantry Specialist Pianalto and his family on his deployment as well as the rest of his unit. 

       Picture courtesy of Pianalto family

      Picture courtesy of Pianalto family

Sending another home

It is pure joy and honor that we were able to send LCPL Stonerock home to spend some much needed family time with a seriously ill grandfather. This story doesn't just have to do with sending him home for a visit. His grandfather has been his father figure most if not all of his life and he has been diagnosed with what is likely a terminal illness. He is 76 years old and believes he has lived a good long life, so extreme treatment is likely not an option for him (his choice). 

We were fortunate enough to be contacted by the USMC at Camp Pendelton FRO (Family Readiness Officer) to see if we could help this Marine and of course we were eager to help. 

His mother & grandfather were over the moon to get him home in time in the event things don't go as positively as they would like and it was our honor to do this for them.   His mom kept insisting she pay us back. No, I said. That's not what this is about. This is about thanking them for their service and making sure we give back even in the smallest of ways. 

This foundation was born out of the desire to show our gratitude and appreciation for our service men/women as well as the families that support them in their service and sacrifices for our country. This is the least we can do and it is our honor to do so. 

Now one of my favorite parts of this story outside of sending him home. I had requested a picture of her son and she said she would even send one with him and his grandfather. I thought, bonus. Well, when she asked her dad if she could take his picture and send it to us he said "not while I'm sitting in this chair" (he was in a wheelchair) so he insisted on standing even as weak as he was. I instinctively asked her if her father was a veteran by chance and she said, yes, he was in the Army. Ah, the fact that he would not be pictured in a wheelchair made perfect sense now.  We are honored to send any of our service men/women home but when we are making a 76 year old veteran happy at the same that's just icing on the cake. Thank you Stonerock family for your sacrifices to our country and for allowing us the honor of sending your son/grandson home. God bless your family as you travel this journey. 

   "Picture courtesy of Momma Stonerock" 

2015 Whitey's Chicken Cook

What a success!  We raised $2,070.00 selling chicken and if that isn't impressive enough, we did this on the Saturday that most everyone in our area was starting their Spring Break!  We had so many family and friends that showed up to help with everything from grilling the chicken to bagging and selling.  While it is always a ton of work it is also very fun and so fulfilling. 
The satisfying feeling you get isn't just with how much money you raise (for me anyway), but it's seeing people come together to raise money for others and in our case, our military men and women.  It doesn't get much better than that.  People put anything may have had on a Saturday after working all week to donate their time and efforts to raise money to send our troops home.  To sit back in my shoes and watch that on Saturday, March 21st was truly emotional for me.  I truly appreciate each and every person that volunteered to work the chicken cook regardless how much time you had to spend there.  I truly appreciate each person that purchased chicken or in many cases just gave money and asked for nothing in return.  I truly appreciate our local fire department in Rogers, AR that show up nearly every year and park their truck there with the American Flag flying from the ladder and if they are there and a child walks up, they stop and show the child the truck and talk to them.  It is so amazing to see. 

If you have never had the chance to join us, I encourage you to come out next year.  Even if you don't purchase a thing or even work, just to see that kind of community kindness come together will warm your heart.

To all of you that came out and worked, bought chicken, or t-shirts, or just donated money, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.  You were inspirational in helping us send our troops home!



WFOT Fundraiser - Whitey & his Crew's Chicken Cook

April 26, 2014 Rogers, AR Chicken Cook

Don't miss it!  First, don't miss a chance to support our troops and second, enjoy some delicious grilled chicken!

April 26th at the Whitey Chicken Pit on HWY 12 next to Harps and Garners, by the RR tracks in Rogers, AR.  Chicken comes off the grill around 10:30 to 11:30 am.  Come early as the chicken goes fast.  We will also have t-shirts and stickers for sales as supplies last. 

If you can't attend please spread the word.  We would like this year to be even bigger than last year. 

Wings for Our Troops "in loving memory of CPL Chad S Wade" was founded after our son was killed in the line of duty in Afghanistan.  We were fortunate enough to get him home before he deployed for 11 days and it was the best 11 days of our lives.  We didn't know this would be the last time we would see our son alive so enjoying every minute like we did means more now than it did then.  We want to make sure all families and their military member has the same opportunity as we did.

Most do not realize that when these young men and women go home before and/or after deployments that the cost of this travel is out of their own pockets.  They make a very modest salary so as you can imagine, coming up with the money to purchase airline tickets can really hurt them financially or it causes them to be unable to visit home before or after.  We don't want finances to be the reason they do not go home to spend precious time with their families so that is why we exist.  We have also added family emergencies to our mission statement.  We have discovered that many of our enlisted service members are stationed a good distance from home.  In the event of a family emergency it is obviously sudden allowing them very little time to come up with the funds to pay for travel home.  That is where we come in.  We are honored to have so much support both financial and emotionally to allow us the opportunity to help any of these young men and women get home to their families. 

One thing I want to stress (mainly for our military service members), this is not a handout.  We are a non-profit foundation that would like to show our sincere appreciation for the service and sacrifice of our Arms Forces.  We are a grateful Nation and we want to do this for them to show them (in a small way) how grateful we really are.

If you know any enlisted service member that needs our help like this, please tell them about us.  Spread the word as much as you can and if you are in the area of Rogers, AR on April 26th we would love to have you stop by, purchase some chicken, t-shirts, or stickers and just see how CPL Chad Wade's buddies come together as well as the community to not only honor him, but to support and show thanks to our military! 

2/1 Marines Echo Company Afghanistan 2010



AR Run for the Fallen 2014

What an honor to have been able to participate and see how these young men and women honor the Fallen Heroes of Arkansas.  Sadly they had to add extra miles this year so the run actually lasted from Friday morning until the afternoon on Sunday.  They would run typically from 6:30 am (around there) and run until around dinner time.  They would get up the next morning and do it all again.  They would have new runners every 6 miles to take over and give the first set of runners a break to rest up and re-hydrate.  They would run carrying flags for the military branches and the USA along with the Fallen Hero they are honoring at the next stop.

They would run and each mile marker they came to they would stop, read a short bio of the Fallen Hero, place the flag with the picture of the Fallen Hero and the bio on one side and a picture that a child from a local AR elementary or middle school drew on the back side in the ground where it will remain all year.  Once the flag is placed, the runners who are standing at attention the entire time of this stop, they would salute the Fallen Hero.  Each runner gave me a hug and shook Tebo's hand before continuing their run.

Something we learned while there on Friday is that these flags and pictures/bio cards are maintained all year where they remain.  If they happen to be in front of someones home, those home owners take care of and maintain these memorials throughout the year.  There are some spots that have multiple memorials at the same location and they are all maintained throughout the year.  That made me feel humbled and proud at the same time.  Americans are truly good people and they care about our military.  We saw evidence of this Friday and many other times as well.  It definitely makes you proud to call this country home.

This run started in Altus, AR and ended up at the AR State Capitol in Little Rock, AR. to complete a 140 mile run to honor all the Fallen Heroes of Arkansas.  It truly was a sight to behold and to say we were honored by this show of respect and remembrance is an understatement. 

The mission of the Arkansas Run for the Fallen is to raise awareness for the native Arkansans who fought and died supporting the Global War on Terrorism (GWOT).  Their purpose is also to provide support, hope, and healing to families grieving the death of a loved one in military service regardless of relationship or circumstance of death.  They support organizations that enable the healing process for Arkansas residents whose lives have been affected by the GWOT.  I encourage you to check out their website at www.arkansasrunforthefallen.org to see all the work these folks do.  They will have photos from previous runs as well as the run they are doing this weekend.

Next year Tebo and I would like to be more involved and hopefully sponsor these runners and this effort as well as attend the ceremony in Little Rock. 

I have pictures we took on Friday at mile 10 at the Johnson County line where Chad's spot was in the link below through Snap Fish.  You can also go to YouTube and search under AR Run for the Fallen and you can see video of the stops along the way of some of these heroes they were honoring and I would imagine a video of the closing ceremony in Little Rock as well.  The video of them honoring one of the Fallen will give you a glimpse into what these runners do for each and every Fallen Hero in the state of AR.  It would be my hope that all states will begin to have runs like this to bring awareness and show honor to these Fallen Heroes and the support to their loved ones.  It is truly something you will never forget.

To view our pictures from Friday, March 14, 2014 just click on this link at http://www2.snapfish.com/snapfish/fe/l=en_US/p/Organizer/AlbumID=11764550007/s_c=0/s_mvm=MVM/s_se=FDR/s_pt=GFT,POS,PSP,REP,PMB,JWL,GEN,PL2,HMB,MMB,HRS,PO2,CAL,CR2,DMB,PRE,CBG,PC4,SLM/s_st=RegReqEu#state=%7B%22pl%22%3A%7B%22uc%22%3A2%2C%22aid%22%3A11765713007%2C%22vp%22%3A%22g%22%2C%22sb%22%3A5%7D%2C%22ovm%22%3A%7B%22v%22%3A%22s%22%7D%7D.

Thank you to all that make this run happen each year.

Who better to talk to you about PTSD than Veterans themselves

You might believe you have a handle on your PTSD, but do you really?  If you have been prescribed medication, are you taking like you are directed?  How are your relationships?  Not just with co-workers and friends, but more importantly, how are your relationships with your partner and family?  These are all very important questions that I don't ask lightly.  It is so important for you to take PTSD seriously and for your sake, the sake of your spouse, family, and especially your children or future children, you need to make sure you are doing all you can to get better and stay healthy.

In some of my research I came across this video as well as other links within the page that I feel is certainly worth watching and checking out.  Check out http://maketheconnection.net/conditions/ptsd?utm_source=adcenter&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=post%20traumatic%20stress%20disorder%20military&utm_content=ptsdveterans&utm_campaign=ptsd.  If you have been diagnosed with PTSD or know someone who has, you should watch this and listen to what these Veterans have to say.

Reaching out for help and seeking counseling is not a sign of weakness.  In fact, to me, it is a true sign of courage.  The only way you can get better and live a full and healthy life is to get better.  I know many of you believe you can do this on your own.  You may even tell yourself or others, "hey man, I've got this".  Do you?  Are you reaching your goals and living your life to your fullest potential?  Are you happy and do you have healthy, happy relationships with others?  If you are married, how is it?  If you are married and struggling with PTSD, it will impact your marriage.  Is your marriage to the person that you love, your soul mate, worth losing due to either pride or denial?  I hope and pray not.

PTSD is real, but it doesn't have to be the center of your life forever.  You can get help and manage it and one day you will realized that you have kicked PTSD's rear!  How great would that feel?  You can look in the mirror and tell yourself, this war and these terrorist did not win against me.  How amazing would that be?

Here is another link that is so worth checking out. http://www.ptsdresolution.org.  There are resources out there that are available, all you have to do is take that first step.

We have lost too many way too soon because of this disease.  I for one do not want to lose anymore or see relationships destroyed or homelessness and all the other sad and unfortunate situations that can come from not facing this disease head on and kicking it's butt.

The first step can be difficult, so how about reaching out to one of your brothers/sisters in arms and talk to them honestly about what you are going through.  If you are a Veteran that has someone reach out to you and share their struggles, take them seriously.  You may not have the answers, but you can always support them and encourage them to get the professional help they need.

If you are a Veteran that has struggled with PTSD and you are fighting/beating it, reach out to some of your brothers/sisters in arms and make sure they know you understand and you are there to listen and share your experience like the ones in the above attached video.

Please take a few minutes to not only watch the video, but check out the useful links connected to it and make that connection with other Veterans and most importantly, take that first step.

We are a grateful Nation and we want to see you not only excel in life, but thrive and get everything you certainly deserve and more.  You deserve it and there are many of us out here that want to see you achieve it!

You CAN do this, but you canNOT do this alone.  I know there are those out there that believe they can, but I am telling you that after all I've read and watched over the last 3+ years, you cannot do this alone.   Below are some images that I found when Googling PTSD images and families.  I believe these pictures paint a picture and for me, they are pictures of hope.  The more people are aware of PTSD and what it is and the impact it is having on our Veterans and the ones that love them, the better the chances are that more and more will get the help they need and live the life they deserve.  

Please do not be the next one we have to say good-bye to.  We are all tired of the good-byes, we would rather be saying, see you next time.  God bless each and every one of you and thank you from my family to you and yours.

Wanting to help

We are ready and wanting to help more of our military service men/women get home before and/or after deployment or if they have a family emergency and can't get home.  We are here to help.  In case you aren't aware, if our military are enlisted and active and they try to get home even before and after deployment it is up to them to get home on their own dime.  They make a very modest salary and from that salary they have rent coming out if they aren't living in the barracks and uniform charges.  There is a misconception that these guys get a salary and everything around them is paid for by the military.  At least for the Marine Corps, that is not the case.  I know I can't speak for all branches, but the USMC does not pay for all these things for our Marines.
We all know how expensive airline tickets are and while they may get a military discount, I can tell you, it isn't enough.
That's where we come in.  We have an active board of members that have a heart to help these young men and women.  We have raised money and continue to raise money in order to fund these airline tickets.  We are completely non-profit and this is our small way of saying thank you and for paying it forward.  This is the very least we can do for all they sacrifice for us.
Let me be very clear about one thing.  This is NOT a hand out or charity in a negative way.  This is simply a service we are providing for our military so they can have precious time with their families before and/or after deployment.
I can't even imagine not having had 11 days with Chad here before he left for Afghanistan.  I will cherish those days always.  I would never want one of our own to deploy without that chance to go home and see their families and heaven forbid they not come home.  Those that do come home and heaven forbid they lose a brother or sister in arms, they need their families more than ever.
Please join us in spreading the word and letting those that might need our help know that we are here.
Most the ones we come in contact with look at this as a hand out and that is not what this is.  It is a helping hand and a huge thank you for their service and sacrifice.  Help us help them!
For all that are serving or have served or will serve in the future, THANK YOU & God Bless!

PTSD... This is frustrating

I am not naive enough to not know that even people that have not been to combat can suffer from PTSD.  There are lots of situations where this can be the case, however, in my opinion. George Zimmerman does NOT fit this description.

To me, this is exactly why it is hard for many people to take PTSD seriously enough to make sure our troops and those truly suffering with it, because I believe it is too easily thrown around as a diagnosis. 

When I saw this article about George Zimmerman, I truly felt ill.  I pray for the guys that served with Chad that they get through life as happy, healthy, and alive as they possibly can after all they have been through and the ones that PTSD ends up taking from us far too soon and the families of those left behind and then I see something like this it breaks my heart.

I don't want to make anyone believe or feel like I do by any means, but I do hope to at least spark a little thought behind what PTSD really is and how devastating it is for the person dealing with it and the families and friends that love them. 

http://gma.yahoo.com/george-zimmerman-lives-constant-fear-ptsd-132641943--abc-news-topstories.html

Still learning about myself

I have had quite the last couple of weeks.  I believe most of us think we know ourselves (at least I did), but I got a pretty good look at myself from my sister's perspective this past week and confirmation from another one.
Let me explain.  I'm the first born out of 7 kids (blended family) and I typically find myself being the surrogate mother and take care of things when they pop up.  There have been times when one might be in trouble for something and I could be two states away and they would call me to help fix the mess or tell them what they should do.  I actually love this role of my life and I really have never known anything different.
Well, last week I was talking to my youngest sister and she asked me what was wrong, I said, I don't really know.  I just feel like I've been in a funk and I can't put my finger on it.  She said, "you don't have me to take care of anymore".  I'm like, what?  She said, "I don't have cancer anymore".  You finally find yourself without someone or a project to focus on she basically said and you don't know what to do with yourself.  At the time I said maybe you are right.  After we hung up the phone I started thinking about what she said and I thought, she might actually have a point.  Then I thought to myself, do I always do this?  Do I find "projects" whether it be people or foundation or reorganizing my house a thousand times over just to avoid facing my own feelings or grief? 
So, I asked my other sister if this really is what I do and I made her be honest.  I'm pretty sure she didn't hesitate to say, um, yes! 
Well, there you go.  Even now, after I thought I knew myself pretty well by now, I discover something I guess I never realized.
I knew when Chad would deploy I would try to find a project to keep me busy and my mind off the danger he was in (if that was even possible), but I always figured that was more for Tebo and my family than for me.  Then when Chad passed away apparently I've been keeping busy with various other "projects" that I truly did not realize what I was doing.  I'm not really sure if I have even gone through a large portion of grief yet as I haven't had some of the stages "they" say you go through yet.  I'm not so sure I want to, honestly.
So after having two sisters states apart from each other confirm this to me, I guess it is time for me to face the fact.  I would rather take care of someone else, or work on our foundation, or a project than for someone to take care of me or to face my true feelings.
I would like to say that I will change that about myself, but I'm pretty sure that isn't going to happen any time soon.  I actually prefer to help someone else or take care of them than to think about how I might be feeling, because honestly, I don't know if I want to uncover that just yet.
Is that healthy?  Probably not, but right now, that's all I can promise.
So don't be surprised if you are going through something and I find out about it that you don't become my "project" for the moment.  Apparently no one is safe from me.  LOL!  I will say this, I'm glad I have family and friends that just accept me for who I am and just let me be me.  I am pretty sure I would drive myself crazy if the shoe were on the other foot.

Before my world blew up...



WFOT supports those struggling with PTSD and their loved ones

One Mom's Journey

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

PTSD is not only effecting our military

Our service men and women that are diagnosed and suffering with PTSD are not the only ones suffering.  Have you ever stopped to think what this does to their family and close friends?  Moms and dads have to watch their child suffer and feel there is nothing they can do.  Spouses watch and many times are pushed away and feel helpless and abandoned.  The children of these service men and women don't understand.  All they know is mommy or daddy is different now and they just can't figure out why and there is always that chance they may even blame themselves.

We as a Nation owe it to these service men and women and their families to do all we can do to help them.  It could be a simple card/letter, an encouraging word, a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, anything.  It doesn't even have to cost you money or that much time.  It would be amazing to these folks that are suffering just to know there are people out there that do really care about what they are going through.

I can only imagine how alone each of these people must feel at times and I think that is what breaks my heart the most.  I would never want them to think they have no one to turn to.

It has been my experience so far that many of our service men and women suffering chose to suffer in silence for several reasons (I believe).  One, I believe they don't want to burden their families any more than they feel they may have already done.  Second, I'm not sure they know how to take that first step and just open up.  Third and probably most importantly, I believe they view this as a weakness and they have been trained not to show weakness and to be brave and strong at all times.  This makes me sad.

They have been trained physically and emotionally to be protectors.  How can they lean on someone else, especially family and friends, if they continue to feel it is their "duty" to protect them?  I believe many of them feel this way.  I could be wrong, but based on the ones I've talked to, I don't think I am.

Stop and think how these parents must feel.  I will speak specifically about the moms as those are the ones I've actually spoken to so far.  They not only feel helpless, but they feel a since of failure and abandonment.  You might ask yourself why since they didn't cause this.  Well, speaking as a mom, it is our job to protect and care for your child regardless his/her age.  I know for me, it wouldn't have matter how old Chad was or if he were married (which he was) or how many children he had (which were none), I would have still done anything and everything to take care of him and make sure he was healthy, happy, and just ok.  I believe all moms have that in them, always.

As for spouses, can you imagine?  First, the love of their life is different and sometimes very different than the man or woman they married.  They want to continue to love them and help them through this and feel helpless I'm sure.  Think about it, they know their spouse is different and sometimes someone with PTSD can be mean, certainly angry at times and depressed.  It may take them months or years to figure out this is the issue.  Can you imagine what a toll this would take on a marriage and sadly, I'm afraid, most don't make it through this.  It takes a mighty strong couple who are determined despite anything thrown their way, they will make this marriage work.  However, I can tell you, that is easier said than done when you feel there is no way out or no help for the situation.

There is hope and there is a way out.  There are so many organizations out there willing and waiting to help.  There are support groups not only for the service member, but for the families as well.  Please take advantage of these resources.  If these organizations are anything like our Wings for Our Troops, they are desperate to help.  We long for the next service member to send home and when we go months without one request it gets disheartening.  I am certain that is how these other organizations must feel.

I was recently told that there is a military veteran that is looking into a business to train dogs that can sense when someone is about to have an episode or show symptoms of PTSD and will prompt the service member to take his/her medication.  Now I also have to tell you that I have yet to find such an organization out there, but I will continue to look.  I did, however, find that there are PTSD dogs that have been trained to be companions and they are seeing that it helps the patient cope when he/she has one of these dogs.  I'm not much of a dog lover (ok, not at all), but if this is something that helps our service men/women suffering with PTSD, I'm all for it.  I have a few links below that you are welcome to check out and see if any of these are a fit for you.

By all means, if you are a service member and you have been diagnosed or feel you may be having symptoms of PTSD, talk to someone.  If you don't want to speak to your family or friends then find someone else.  I am an email or post away and there are so many out there with open arms ready to help lift you up.  That is certainly the first step in truly getting the help you need to live a long, healthy, and happy life.  You deserve it!

http://maketheconnection.net/conditions/ptsd?utm_source=adcenter&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=ptsd%20hotline%20for%20veterans&utm_content=ptsdveterans&utm_campaign=ptsd


http://www.allamericandog.net/ptsd_dog_training.html

 
http://psychcentral.com/news/2014/02/11/meditation-helps-refugees-recover-from-ptsd/65732.html

http://psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms-and-diagnosis-of-ptsd/000158

http://ptsdsupport.net/

Please do not suffer in silence any longer and do not allow PTSD rob you of the life you deserve. 

Pain in a little boy's eyes that has to watch someone he loves suffer with PTSD (picture courtesy of easyreadsystem.com)

Picture courtesy of photo bucket

The look of a wife or mother that feels helpless in helping their child or spouse (picture courtesy of urbanchristiannews.com)

When a Heart Breaks

I had the honor (I guess you can call it that) to chat with a mom who lost her son to PTSD recently.  I know right where she is right now.  She is in a fog.  She is just going through the motions of life and probably not even sure how she got from point A to point B at times.  My heart breaks for her.
I've been doing some research and reading and studying anything I can get my hands on about PTSD so I can hopefully be of some help to these young men that are now my bonus sons.  One of the things that I've learned is that it is common amongst almost all of them is that these young men and women don't really know the words they need to use to express what they are going through.  They can't really tell you what is wrong and for the most part, they have been taught to be so tough that asking for help when things just don't feel quite right would be a sign of weakness to them.
I would like to take a moment here to speak to those young men and women that might (hopefully) be reading this.  It is never a sign of weakness for you to ask for help or merely tell someone close to you that you don't know what it is, but you just don't feel quite right or quite yourself.  This is the first step to healing and getting the help you need to live a full and successful life.  You can't do this on your own.  I would also like so say that your family sees a difference in you at times, but they don't know how to help or how much to step in.  Give them permission to love you enough to help you.  That's all they want to do.
I can't speak for other people, but as a mom, it is hard to watch your child struggle and not know what to do or knowing you can't do anything to help them.  It's a terrible place to be as a parent so help them out by letting them in.
As a parent, you can't always know what is going on with your child inside their minds and hearts.  They have seen and experienced things in their short lives that most of us will never experience or understand.  They probably don't even understand it themselves so how could we/you possibly understand.
All we can do is be there for them and let them know that it's ok and that there isn't anything you wouldn't do for them.  
The other thing I have noticed is these young men and women are more likely to reach out to each other before even family.  I believe they do this because they know they are the only ones that really get what they are going through as they lived it with them.  I would encourage you guys, if one of your brothers comes to you and shares their heart with you and you believe it is enough that they need to speak to someone professional, try to find a way to let someone know.  We don't want to see any other family lose a child because of this war either in action or as a result of this silent disease PTSD.  
I also believe in my heart that these young men and women worry more about being a burden on their loved ones and I think that too keeps them from sharing.  In addition, I have to believe they don't discuss their experience of war with most (if anyone) people, because they don't want to re-live that experience and maybe they are afraid if they talk about it, it will become too real again.  
I'm not an expert by any means and I'm certainly not a very intelligent person, but I love these boys my son served with and I have watched and listened to them and I have a true burden on my heart to help them and the parents of our fallen heroes that won't allow me to stop thinking about this.  I need to do something, but I don't know what.  I can promise you that I will do all I can to figure that out and to promise to do all I can to make sure there is a difference made even if it is just one person.
If you are a parent of a service member, you know how tight this band of brothers is and I for one love seeing that closeness.  Here is a picture that was taken in CA after a much needed cookout with Tebo, myself, and just some of our new bonus kids and while they aren't all in this picture, I believe this picture gives you a glimpse into how much they love each other and I believe it is a love that will carry on for the rest of their lives.  Enjoy these smiles.  I know I do every day.
 

The Mountain Dew Gang.  :)  5-25-11 in CA at Camp Pendleton
Most everyone wearing a Mountain Dew t-shirt in honor of Chad!



He sure loved this t-shirt...  :)



PTSD... Taking too many too soon

I have been sadly aware of PTSD http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/post-traumatic-stress-disorder since this horrible war began, but nothing like when Chad was killed.  I have watched some of his closets friends struggle with this (mostly in private) disease.  I heard from a Veteran and friend today that he met several Gold Star Moms http://www.goldstarmoms.com/ that lost their sons (Marines) to suicide as a result of PTSD.  That saddens me beyond words.

This friend of mine (to remain nameless as I didn't get his permission to use his name) is working to get a non-profit together to help these young men and women suffering with this disease.  I know it takes time and a lot of red tape to get one started, but it's a start.  It is truly a silent killer, I believe.

He did tell me of a couple of organizations that are out there currently to help such as RWB http://www.teamrwb.org/ and The Mission Continues http://missioncontinues.org/, but these guys can't do it alone.  There are too many of our men and women suffering out there and we as a Nation need to be concerned and care enough to get involved. 

Last night I saw a very cool story about a band "Band of Brothers" http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-3445_162-57611639/band-of-brothers/ where a rock and roll legend, Roger Walters of Pink Floyd, saw a need and understood or believed that music can be a healer and pulled together a group of wounded warriors to great this band.  These guys are amputees, double amputees, triple amputees, and so on.  They either play an instrument or sing or both.  I encourage you to check them out.  It is an amazing story and will give you chills and maybe even cause a little "awesomeness" to leak out of your eyes when you hear their story and see what the healing power of music is doing for these guys.  Thank you, Roger Walters, for having a vision and making a difference. 

I wish I could take each and every military member suffering with PTSD http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/post-traumatic-stress-disorder and wrap my arms around them and tell them we are truly here for them.  That is the very least we can do for these fine men and women who sacrifice and endure so much for us.  Make it more personal if you have to.  They have sacrificed, endured, and seen more horrific things than a person (especially with most of these being 18 to early to mid 20's) should have to experience in a lifetime for ME.  They did this for ME and YOU!  We should all be asking ourselves, what can I do for THEM!

I challenge you to get outside your comfort zone and be willing to offer a helping hand.  It doesn't have to cost you anything, but a little time a hug or a smile or a conversation.  I believe we are all capable of doing that.

Something I think about at times like this is when I hear or see people get so emotional when those commercials about sick or abused animals come on TV and yet they might hear a commercial or hear someone speak of PTSD and it's as though no words were spoken.  That bothers me.  I'm not saying everyone does this, but I have seen my fair share of those that do and that is difficult for me.

I pledge to be one of the ones that will step out of my comfort zone and offer a hand no matter what that might be if I am at all in a position to do so.  It might just be a kind word or paying for a meal or better yet, just listening.

If you are a member of the military or have a loved one who is/was and are suffering from PTSD and you are reading this, you can reach out to me and I will listen and do anything I can to help you or steer you in the right direction.  If you are a mom who has lost a child in this war regardless how, I am willing to listen and be a support for you. 

These young men and women have burned a place in my heart that will never go away and as long as there are those suffering with this terrible disease or someone who has lost a child or loved one in this horrific war, I will always be here to listen and offer what I can.

Lord, please be with each and every member of our Military at home or abroad and give them the physical and mental strength to face each day.  Lord, also be with their families and close friends that walk these steps with them and give them the peace and understanding they need to encourage and support them in this honorable job they have chosen to do on our behalf.  Amen.

Happy Veterans' Day 2013

To all our Veterans who have served or still serving we would like to say THANK YOU!  I wish, we as a Nation, would do a better job collectively of thank you every day rather than certain times of the year, but it's my hope that you are shown appreciation more today than in days past. 

I'm so proud of our company Tyson Foods, Inc. and Walmart for making such a great effort to hire our Veterans.  It makes me proud that not only myself, but my husband, and two of our daughters work for Tyson Foods, Inc. and we have the honor each day to see just what we do for our Veterans and how we honor them, but more than that, giving them a job and help with the transition into civilian life again.

The sad stories that we have experienced with so many Veterans not being able to find work is heartbreaking.  It does my heart good to see how these two companies are going above and beyond to hire these heroes.  I am certain there are many more companies joining this effort, but these two I know personally are doing so and with Tyson Foods, Inc. and their Camo to Khaki program sets a new higher level of pride within me just knowing I am a part of a company doing great things.

With all that said, thank you to all our Veterans who have ever worn the uniform and signed on that dotted line to serve and sacrifice even if it's with their own lives for our freedoms.  I hope you always feel the appreciation from a very grateful Nation! 

Picture courtesy of http://www.va.gov/opa/vetsday/poster/vetsday07.jpg

   

When you take advantage of a teaching opportunity... Priceless

One of our neighbors from our old neighborhood reached out to me asking if I knew any specific Troops that her son's 6th grade class could send care packages to.  I started doing some checking and got some names and addresses for her.

She took her son shopping last night and she found the perfect way to take this kind act and turn it into a learning experience for her son.

Most of us adults don't really comprehend how much our Troops need the simple things we take for granted while deployed.  Things like washing machines and dryers aren't there for their convenience and depending on where they are located they may not even have showers and if they do have showers, most don't have hot water.  If most of us adults aren't aware, how would we expect our children to know unless someone teaches them.

I love how our friend was able to take this simple act of kindness and turn it into a very teachable moment and not only did it teach her son how little our troops have when they deploy, but I believe it taught him compassion, understanding, and gratitude.  One small example of how she showed him what he was doing was so important is when she had the chance to explain how important a container of powder is to them.  He couldn't figure it out so she explained that they put it in their boots and on places that get rubbed raw.  It made it more real for him.  She then explained to him that they will appreciate getting things they desperately need or would just like to have to remind them of home from someone other than their families would mean so much to them and she is correct.  Chad even said once how touched he was when a group from a church sent him a care package and wrote notes to him and they didn't even know him.  It truly does touch their hearts that total strangers will take their time and money and do something for them when many times I fear they think we have forgotten about them.

They know their families aren't forgetting about them, but when someone outside their family, especially children, are thinking about them and thanking them for what they are doing I believe it gives them a little boost of moral that they need when they are so disconnected from the real world.

His mom said it gave the two of them a change to talk about what they miss out on and why they need the things on the list they were given.  While just seeing the list and purchasing them on her way home may have seemed easier for her to do, she decided to take him along and use this as a teaching opportunity for him.  So for "Jacob" and his mom, thank you and hopefully this will inspire more parents to get their kids out there and get them involved with sending care packages to our Troops.

With the holidays coming up these young men and women are away from home and families (some for the first time ever) so image how it will warm their hearts to receive care packages from people all over the U.S.  Knowing we are still supporting them and not forgetting that they are still over there fighting a very real war.  It couldn't have been better timing for all this to happen with November being Military Appreciation month and Veterans' Day coming up as well as the Marine Corps birthday.  I'm proud to have had them as neighbors and still have them as friends.

Picture courtesy of www.rrdailyherald.com 

Picture courtesy of www.operationcarepackages.org

Picture courtesy of theshoppingmama.com

Picture courtesy of www.takepart.com

Picture courtesy of brooklyncupcake.wordpress.com 

If you ever doubted if your efforts were appreciated, this last picture says enough...  Thank you to all who give and send care packages and a very special thank you to our Troops home and abroad for your service and sacrifice and for all past, present, and future.  WE ARE A GRATEFUL NATION!